I want to punish my husband for cheating on me: tips and advice that can help
I often get emails or correspondence from wives who tell me that even though they hate feeling this way, they are so angry at their husbands for cheating on them that they want to find some way to “get back at him” or “punish him.” “In short, they want to hurt him and feel pain in the same way that they are doing now. They want him to be very sorry for his actions and his betrayal. And, they often feel quite guilty and bad about it.
The truth is that this feeling is very normal. I would say that not feeling that way is the exception and not the rule. But while these feelings are normal, it’s very important not to let them take over your life. Honestly, they will only make you feel worse about your situation and yourself. Part of the reason you feel this way is that you are looking for some action that might bring you some relief and a sense of closure. There are actions that will provide this much more than punish it. I will discuss more about this matter in the following article.
Why you might want to punish your husband for cheating: Although I’m not in your place right now, I know how you feel. I have been in this situation. And I know that she’s probably going to want to lash out at her husband for hurting her like this. She has dealt you a devastating blow and you are well within your rights to want him to pay for this. Very often we suspect that cheating husbands really do not know how bad we feel and are not sorry enough for this betrayal.
So we think that if we can withhold our affection, do something to get back at him, or rub salt in the wounds, it will in turn make us feel better and make him feel worse. But, what we don’t realize at the time is that going down this path will often only make us both feel worse and only prolong the negative and devastating feelings.
Why Getting Back At Your Husband For Cheating On You Will Probably Hurt You As Much As It Hurts Him: I tell you from experience. I know that for me, lashing out and acting in a way that was beneath me only made me feel worse when I meant it all along to make myself feel better.
Because once you start playing the game to get over it with nasty behavior, it will take you straight to a level you probably never intended to get to. One of the reasons for this is that you continue to focus on negative emotions. And getting into the habit of always dwelling in negative places will usually only keep you feeling bad. Their intentions are usually based on decreasing tension and gaining a sense of closure and relief, but usually the exact opposite is true.
You get into the habit of feeling and acting bad and then you have a situation where your husband reacts to your actions. They are both angry. They are both wobbling. Both are accusatory. Now, you have more problems and issues to deal with and things get quite confusing and confusing when you try to figure this out because now everyone is at fault and you have a lot more to figure out.
I often have women tell me that they are considering having their own affair to “get back” at their cheating husband. But I have to tell you, this almost always backfires and only creates bigger problems for you and your marriage. Usually, you might feel better momentarily, but once the dust settles, you’ll realize that you may have made things worse instead of better.
More positive ways to make your husband pay for the affair: Please do not get me wrong. I certainly do not advocate that there are no consequences for her husband’s cheating. He certainly must make amends at the level that satisfies her if she has any chance of saving her marriage. You must show her true remorse and must do whatever it takes to make it up to you (if you both want to move forward together).
And there is nothing wrong with waiting until you have these things to your satisfaction. You are in your right to keep your commitment and forgiveness until he deserves to receive it. But, at the end of the day, I think what we all want is to get our life back. We want to be safe, confident and feel love again. This process takes time and a lot of work. Getting even with or punishing your husband with your own bad behavior will often only delay this and make things worse.