Parenting in the 21st century

The liberal standard of today’s society, with its radical change in values, attitudes, and changing lifestyles, has left parents and children reeling in a sea of ​​uncertainty. Constant exposure to consumerism, violence, promiscuity, sexual preferences, and pedophilia through audiovisual media has a confusing effect on impressionable minds. The erosion of authority, fragmented families, broken marriages, and unsafe neighborhoods are leading to an increase in mental and behavioral disorders, suicides, drug and alcohol addictions.

“Things are happening to our children that should never be allowed,” said Margaret Mead.

Today’s kids:

In previous generations, childhood was a simple trust journey into adulthood. The children had opportunities for play, daydreaming, and healthy recreation.

Today they are growing up without childhood. Many babies stay in daycare, either because the mothers are working or because they are unwilling to take on the care of the baby.

Then, from preschool days onward, children’s lives are directed to a rigid routine of schools, contests, classes, and other activities. Even the game time is so structured that the main objective is to win. As a result, children become self-absorbed and do not learn to work as a team or to win or lose gracefully. Sport becomes a time of immense pressure, even violence.

The number of children with “closing brace” with both parents at work is increasing. Each night, the children return to the empty houses and are alone and unsupervised for a period of time. The television or computer becomes your closest companion. There are homes where children cannot see their parents, as they go to school early in the morning before the parents wake up, and they sleep soundly at night long before the parents return from work. The story is told of a busy CEO of a company, who was surprised to see that his son had made an appointment to meet him.

“Hello son,” he said, “Is there something important that you would like to discuss with me?”

“No dad,” said the boy, “I just wanted to spend time with you because I’ll never get to see you.”

Many children who are left with caregivers are sexually abused. In 80% of cases, the abusers are family members or close friends. Children are vulnerable. They trust implicitly, especially when bribed with chocolates or candy. They are often threatened with physical harm if they dare to complain to their parents.

Boys are maturing quickly and reaching puberty earlier than before. Girls are maturing even at 8-9 years. The rush of hormones in puberty has its own dangers. The need to experiment grows stronger. Although they may be physically mature, they are emotionally immature and do not know how to handle their feelings. This makes them vulnerable to abuse.

Modern parents:

Many parents feel inadequate and are willing to give up responsibility. Some hold teachers and the educational system responsible for shaping the character of their children. Others hope that the Church or religious organizations will instill morality in them.

Parents sometimes want to live indirectly through their children. They set unrealistic goals in studies or sports that children may not be able to achieve. Constant complaints breed frustration and loss of self-esteem or a tendency to rebel. Parents need to understand that failures and setbacks are learning experiences. They make children determined to try again.

Excessive protection and indulgence stifle spontaneity and innovation. A child has to learn social skills and how to develop interpersonal relationships. You must learn to take care of yourself instead of being pampered. An overprotected child will always want someone to protect him. Your tolerance and frustration levels will be very low.

Many working parents experience feelings of guilt. To compensate, they give the children expensive gifts, money, or toys. Someone said, “Many children have done so much for them that they lose the opportunity to become competent.”

These parents also turn a blind eye to their children’s petty crimes.

Material gifts should not substitute for personal participation in their lives.

How to be a successful parent in the 21st century:

• Effective parenting. This is not an inherited ability. It is a learning and development process. It takes a lifetime of patience, self-discipline, endurance, and faith through tough days. There will be bouts of discouragement lined with despair. Faith in a loving and caring God who gives strength makes the way easier.

• Build a strong and balanced family environment. Houses are not places without problems. Even the best families cannot live in perfect harmony. There are tensions and tensions. Parents must show wisdom in dissipating these tensions with a spirit of love and affection. The concept of dependency – interdependence – independence must be woven into the fabric of family life. Children should be made to feel that they are valuable members of the family. Those who are nurtured with love and affection become responsible and resilient human beings. Parents should be quick to praise and slow to criticize. You must ask yourself every day: “Did I hug my son today?” It can be a literal hug, a smile, a kiss, or a pat on the back. You should not hesitate to show affection. The child who is more difficult to hug may need more hugs. A child who trusts in the love of his parents will always treat “home” as a haven in times of storm, be it emotional, physical, or spiritual. You will know where to find understanding and empathy.

• Discipline. In every home, there should be clearly marked behavioral limits. The child must know that he cannot fight against parental authority. Parents should not give in to challenging behavior. This will give children the idea that they can be manipulated. Consistent discipline will earn respect, as children want parents to direct them. However, if a parent has treated their child unfairly, they should quickly apologize. The book of Hebrews says that disciplining children is an essential part of parenting. If you do not correct your child, you are treating him as an illegitimate child. Parents must lead by example. They are role models. A child learns by imitation. Everything you see, hear, and understand impacts your emotional growth. Flawed and inconsistent discipline is confusing. When a penalty is given, it must be specifically for a particular offense. This will register in the child’s mind as unacceptable behavior. Similarly, good behavior should be rewarded, achievement should be praised, and a child should never be ridiculed in the presence of others.

Discipline should include training to respect other people’s feelings, to deal with pain that arises, to take responsibility for the consequences of their actions. Facing and learning to solve problems is vital for growth. You must understand that failure and success are two sides of the same coin.

Parental authority does not mean oppression or inappropriate display of anger. It should not crush the child’s spirit, but should shape his character so that he submits to loving authority, learns to respect those around him, and assimilates moral values.

• It is necessary to improve listening skills. Questions must be answered honestly. Listening is an act of love. It implies affection and empathy. A listening parent understands, enjoys, and learns more about the child. It also builds confidence and security in the child. Parents should be appreciative and positive in their attitudes.

• The emotional needs of the child should be prioritized. Emotions influence all aspects of your life. You should be encouraged to express your feelings without fear or shame. Your emotions should not be trivialized. Such a child will not only be emotionally safe, but will learn to respect the emotions of others. The ultimate goal is to help the child live and function independently. A child is a total person with physical, emotional, social, and spiritual needs. He needs parents who know him intimately and treat him as a person. You must be sure that parental love is unconditional.

• Sex education. Sexual awareness is a sign of the transition from childhood to adulthood. The audiovisual media are quite explicit about sex. The sexualization of children begins very early, so even at five years old, some children consider themselves sexual beings. Young children are dressed in sexually suggestive clothing. Behavior patterns treat sex as a recreational activity like any other game. A young high school student said, “It’s a physiological necessity. Quench your hunger with a hamburger. Satisfy sex with a willing girl.”

The transition between childhood and adulthood is a turbulent period marked by restlessness and the desire to live life on one’s own terms. Many parents are embarrassed to talk about such a sensitive topic as sex. But they must not allow their children to turn to their peers or ‘moral terrorists on television or the Internet, or through personal experimentation. The responsibility of parents in the education of their children cannot be avoided. Regardless of what they see in today’s liberal society, children must be taught about the relational aspects of sex within the context of marriage. It is the quality of the relationship that gives meaning to the sexual act, a way of communicating love, tenderness, affection and commitment.

Questions about sex should be answered honestly according to the age and understanding of the child. At no point should it be inferred that sex is a sin, but its place within the context of marriage should be emphasized.

The dangers of indiscriminate sex that leads to disease, unwanted pregnancies and stealth abortions must be explained. They must understand that wrong behavior creates emotional pain and guilt.

The responsibility of parenting in the 21st century is overwhelming. There is no substitute for parental love and leadership. A mother who lost her fifteen-year-old son advises: “Hug them with a little extra ecstasy and a heightened awareness of joy.”

As the book of Proverbs advises: “Train a child in the way he should follow, and when he is old, he will never depart from it” (Prov. 22: 6).