Water the plant of intimate relationships
Today I want to talk about connection. It’s something we all want more of and something that in today’s culture, many of us lack. We lack a real connection with friends, family, and even those closest to us: our partners.
Our society does not prepare us to make connection a priority. Sure there are phones, text messages, and social media, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about a heart-to-heart connection that can only happen when the phones hang up and we can slow down enough to really accept each other.
If you have children, it only becomes more challenging to create the space to connect. But what happens when we don’t make connection a priority?
Our relationships are like plants that need proper care to grow, and without care, they wither and eventually die.
Recently I have been struggling with the connection. My husband and I are the parents of an amazing (and rambunctious) two-year-old. I have a coaching business and I also teach at a university. My husband has his own job demanding of him. Sometimes it can feel like we’re just teaming up as parents and passing like ships in the night.
We realized that we need more time to slow down and connect, even if it means the blog post doesn’t get written or the house doesn’t get cleaned. It is important to set aside perfection and make time to water the relationship.
Watering down your relationship doesn’t have to resemble going out to a fancy dinner and a Broadway show (although it can be). It can also be about taking ten minutes at the end of a busy day to sit next to each other, check in, and have a few minutes of heart connection. It can be about taking the extra ten seconds to hug and kiss your partner goodbye, instead of running out the door and yelling, “I love you, bye!”
When we make room for connection with our partners, everything becomes easier. Connection lightens our load and helps us remember that we are not doing it all alone. It helps us reconnect with what made us fall in love with this person in the first place. And it brings more lightness to the routine of everyday life. It helps us connect with gratitude and when we are grateful for what we have, we see the world in a completely different way.
What is one action you can take this week to slow down and connect with a partner or friend? Notice how it changes your perception and makes you feel fuller inside.