Did I really say that understanding your eyelids is the key to a healthy relationship? Yes, I do.
When I teach face reading, I spend a lot of time explaining the meaning of the eyelids. We have a tendency to be attracted to our opposite, and when the relationship is new and fresh, those differences are exciting, energizing, and even impressive. When the novelty wears off, those attractive traits are annoying, stressful, and infuriating.
The eyelids have a lot to do with how long it takes to respond. An extreme feature is the eyelid that is exposed. That means that when the eye is open, you can see a lot of the eyelid and you have a lot of space for makeup. This is someone who is the Nike ad: “Just do it!” They like direct action and don’t spend a lot of time analyzing their feelings. Its objective is to act in the most direct, fast and efficient way possible. They can sometimes appear ruthless due to their directness.
The other extreme is the person who has epicanthal folds. The epicanthal fold is the fold of flesh that covers the upper eyelid. The eyelid goes up into the eye socket and the flap of skin is all that is visible. He is someone who needs to think, intellectually justify and process information before responding. It may seem, at first, that they are not listening to you because they are not immediately commenting. They are thinking, and if pressed into an instant decision, they will often just tell you what they think you want to hear.
My husband and I are textbook opposites when it comes to eyelids. When my eyes are open, many eyelids are visible. I can put makeup on the lids, in the creases and still have room to spare. My husband, on the other hand, has epicanthic folds. His eyelids go up to his eye socket.
Before we had this valuable information about facial structures, we were driving each other crazy! You would present an idea or question and want an instant response or response. I would be met with silence, which I took personally. I didn’t think he was listening or didn’t care to respond. I was so wrong. He was thinking. He wasn’t giving her enough time to absorb what I said. As a result, he would often tell me what he wanted to hear, just to get me off his back. Outside I would go off in a tantrum.
With knowledge of the eyelid trait and how each one works, we now respect each other’s time when it comes to making decisions. I’d still like an instant answer, but I’m more interested in getting an honest answer. I will say to my husband: “How long do you need to think about it before you can give me an answer?” Now he has the opportunity to think, justify, investigate and question before giving a considered answer.
The structures of the two eyelids and their functions can be compared to Aesop’s fable of the hare and the tortoise. Each one has a different response time and speed of action. As life has taught us, learning happens when we are presented with opposing viewpoints, challenging situations, and people who are different from us. Opposites attract because they can be a great team, sharing complementary skills!
To all people in sales:
To make a sale with a customer who has epicanthic folds, give them the opportunity to process all the information, brochures, or research you’re presenting.
Open your notebook and say, “I’ve given you a lot of information. Could I get your phone number and call you in two days to answer any questions you may have?” They will be very appreciative and will probably want to work with you because you have respected their need for time to assimilate and question the information received.
To learn more about facial structures, their function, and how they relate to relationships, and to order my book, It’s In Your Face: The Real You Revealed, visit my website: http://itsinyourface.com